How to Find an Adoptive Family for Your Child

When facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, you may wonder how you will find an adoptive family that will love your child as you do. You want them to share your values and provide the life that you feel your child deserves. You want to find a family that will not judge you, but one who will honor and respect you and your decision.

Adoption Matching in the Old Days

Traditionally, adoptions were closed. The adoption agency would put adopting parents on a wait list, and whoever was up next on the list would get the next baby.  Then the trend changed when agencies realized matching the baby with the right family was important for a successful adoption.  Adoption matching changed. Adoption agencies would choose families that they felt were the right fit for the child. They considered race, religion, or physical likeness.  In these past traditions, the birth mother had no say and no knowledge of who the adopting parents were; and the adopting parents would not know who the birth family was. The adoption was secret, and children didn’t have the information.

Research and time proved these practices were not healthy for birth mothers or adopted children.  The stigma of unwed mothers or unplanned pregnancies is mostly gone in the modern world.  And adopting families no longer feel shame at infertility.  Most Americans celebrate an encourage our adoption laws. Therefore, the way we do adoption has also evolved to be healthier for all parties involved.

Current Adoption matching Practices

Most expectant mothers want to select the adopting family.  As such, the current trend is that expectant mothers, whether they go through an adoption agency or adoption lawyers, will select the adopting family.  You will be able to choose based on your preferences:

  • Religion
  • Ethnicity
  • Geographic location
  • What kind of contact after adoption you are seeking in a match
  • Whether there are other children in the family or not
  • The family values and lifestyle of the adopting parents
  • Their means to raise a child.

Hopeful adopting parents create adoption profiles, where they write a birth mother letter to you, explaining who they are and why they want to adopt.  Using their first names only, they share general geographic location such as county or city. It is likely that they would share photos of themselves and immediate families.  They share with you their employment, living situation, family history and lifestyles, as well as their hobbies, interest, and dreams.  Most importantly, they will also share their feelings about an open or closed adoption and the level of contact they are comfortable with after they take home the baby.

Finding the Right Family for Your Child

From reading these profiles and looking at the photos, you will likely make an emotional connection with a family or two.  From there, you can ask for more information, a phone call, or an in-person meeting.  You can confirm that the family has been approved to adopt with a valid home study.  In a home study, experts check the family thoroughly for emotional, mental, physical, and financial health. Medical exams, background checks, interviews, home visits and references are all required in home study.

Once you have all the information you need and feel confident that you have found the best family for your child, the adoption process may begin.  Finding the right family is key to feeling good about your decision and finding peace. The adoption attorneys at Moore Law for Children will assist you along the way.

When is my decision final?

An adoption is an agreement that is not binding until the after the baby is born. You have signed consent to the adoption, and your legal right to change your mind has passed.  Each state is different, but in California, you have 30 calendar days to change your mind about adoption. You may waive that right and reduce the revocation time to one business day.

Some women want the full 30 days to make sure they are confident in their decision. Others want the closure right away.  Either way, the State will conduct a six-month post-placement home study to ensure that the child and family are bonding, and it recommends adoption. If for any reason the state does not approve the adoption, you would have your rights and can decide to parent the child or make a new adoption plan.

Moore Law for Children cares about all parties involved in an adoption – the birth mother, the child, the birth father, and the adoptive parents. Placing your baby for adoption is a special choice and there are many factors to consider.  If you are pregnant and considering adoption talk to the legal team at Moore Law for Children. We will protect your rights. We are experienced legal professionals. Our background involves personal experiences with adoption.